And Me

Hannah, Elizabeth, Rachel and Sarah are names that may seem generic or nonspecific for some, but for me, these names have meaning. Growing up in church, I’ve heard Sarah’s story, and her struggle to have a child. I can remember hearing about Hannah’s angst as she wrestled in the spirit for her son. As a child, I couldn’t have known the impact these women would have on my life, but God knew. H.E.R.S. stories sparked my faith and inspire me to trust God. A few years back, in my early twenties I was told that my “healthy body” was reproductively challenged.

I remember thinking, it’s my duty to give my husband a child, but what if I can’t. Will he not want me anymore? I’m broken. It’s amazing how the enemy tries to deposit negative seeds in our minds. Over several years, the depth of my infertility was explored and by all counts I was infertile. There wasn’t a reproductive organ in my body that actually worked. Who knew! I looked healthy and by all counts was healthy, but this. I couldn’t understand why God made me this way. Why me? What did I do? I mean, come on, there’re a gazillion of women out there who have kids, and don’t even want them, and I’m TRYING and nothing. I was beside myself. Finally, after days, and months of a pity party, I listened to God. I started finding out what God said about infertility. I realized that infertility was a disease just like any other sickness, and Jesus gave us power of sickness and disease. Matthew 15:21:28 details that healing is the children’s bread. Thus, infertility and me didn’t make sense. Infertility didn’t have a right to be on my body. So, I took God at his word, that by HIS stripes I’m healed. I won’t mislead you to believe my struggle with infertility was/is without pain.

Through our journey, countless tears were shed. But, I dared to believe God regardless of what the doctors said, what my body said, or what the enemy said. I’m resolved to believe God is God, and God doesn’t have limits. God gave me infertility, and I no longer wonder why. Without infertility, how could I have imagined that it’s possible to have a child with flawed tubes, a mangled uterus , and ovaries that are incompetent. I’m not selling you a dream, this happened. God is not limited to my imagination or yours, he surpasses it. I’m not selling God short, I want more of what he has for me. We want another baby, and I'm sure God will do it!

Infertility was my destiny, God knew what it would take to bring me to a place of complete faith. Through infertilty God gave me a ministry...yes, through sorrow God gave me a passion, I am resolved to eradicate the stigma associated with infertility. It’s my desire we not suffer in silence, but a network be formed of strong women believing God for children and seeing results. Your issue may not be infertility, but the principle is the same. If you want to see results you have to do something. Faith without works is dead. So, it's up to us to do something and God will move. What are you going to do today, to make your vision reality?

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